Chicago Sports Fans...

Ok,

For entry #2, I am compelled to discuss something that really irritates me; the Chicago Bears and their fans.

Now, admittedly, I live in Chicago, but only because my beloved hometown (area) of Detroit is in such economic decline. I like to think that I take up one job here that otherwise would have been designated for a smelly Bears fan. It's official; the Bears' contingent of fans gets my "one bullet," as in the death blow designated for a mortal enemy. Living here has only fueled my hatred of the Bears, and Chicago sports fans in general. These blowhards have even managed to ruin the fun of being a casual fan of the Cubs, the only Chicago professional team in which Detroit teams do not share a divisional rivalry with. The complaining is endless; the misinformation, relentless; the bandwagon, full/empty depending on the situation.

The meltdown occurred this past Saturday night. I'm at a bar with some fellow Detroit transplants, discussing the Lions, Detroit's pro football team. (Let this be on the record; the Lions are easily the worst pro franchise of the past decade...perhaps of all-time.) It goes without saying that I understand how bad this franchise is. Regardless, I still love them; perhaps more than any team in the world. It came as no surprise that the typical Bears fan overheard our conversation, and just had to chime in.

Those of you that reside in Chicago know this guy; slightly overweight from drinking too much in his mid-20's and probably strung out on a constant diet of uppers and blow, his verbal assault begins immediately, and without provocation. His arguments go from senseless to insane in about 4.7 seconds, and I swear his receding hairline lost a good centimeter in the process. I got the typical "Rex will be better" and "Hester as a wide out will be unreal," with no mention of the outright fact that Rex Grossman is one of the most inconsistent players in the NFL, and Hester has yet to play 20 snaps at wide receiver. Is Hester an amazing player? Absolutely. Would I state, without any uncertainty whatsoever, that he'll be a Pro-Bowl receiver? Not unless I want to get laughed at. His arguments were also laced with sexist/racist remarks; another of his remarkably unsavory characteristics.

Here are 2 consistencies that I've noticed in the "irrational, homer, Chicago sports fan." 1) The almost guaranteed reference to the 90's Bulls or 80's Bears. Ladies and gentlemen. Those teams are now DECADES old. If I wanted to bring up the fact that the 84 Tigers, 97, 98, 02 Red Wings, 89, 90, 04 Pistons all won championships, I would. Unfortunately, it's usually not relevant, unless the discussion revolves around overall city performance. (FYI, Detroit was just voted sports city of the year. http://www.sportingnews.com/yourturn/viewtopic.php?t=248801) Has Chicago had some great teams? Of course, although I hate admitting it. People of Chicago! Here me now! Jordan is bald, fat, and gone. Ditka is a trendy word to say in a southside accent. It's over. Let it go. 2) Bandwagon fans, almost all of them. I can't stress this enough, and therefore will probably make mention of it 5 more times in this entry. The United Center is the perfect place to see a home game for the Pistons and Red Wings. 4,000 fans? In a hockey town? Please. Also, when your slogan (Bulls) becomes "because it's so much fun!", things are officially dire. (and they're not even that bad, regardless of how crippling the Ben Wallace contract will be for the next 3 years...)

There are individuals like my dear friend here in every camp of sports fans. Chicago is a great city, but the one thing it lacks is an objective and respectful view of its sports teams. I've met great Chicago sports fans; they exist, if only in very small numbers. Unfortunately, the vast majority of them are flip-flopping, wagon hoppers, looking for their next high.

8-8 looks like a fair projection for the Bears this year. 7-9 looks like a fair projection for the Lions. I certainly hope that the Bears' march back to mediocrity comes true, and, hopefully, I'll get a chance to see my old friend again; that is of course if he hasn't been put in a wheelchair by pissing off the wrong person.

Much love, respect, and go Lions.

Jeff